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Matthew 19 HFBC

LESSON:  Matt. 19:16-26 - Rightly relating...how do we relate to God, to our families and to each other?  Primarily in parable form, Jesus provides insight into this strategic part of our lives.

I.    Teachings on Marriage and the Family (19:1-15)

  1. The Interrogation (1-3) - In order to destroy Him (12:14), the Pharisees needed to drive a wedge between Jesus and his followers.  Divorce was just such a "wedge-issue."  Deuteronomy 24:1 permitted the divorce of a woman found with "some indecency in her."  Two famous rabbis offered radically different interpretations:

    1. The School of Shammai held that "indecency" referred to sexual misconduct.

    2. The School of Hillel allowed the charge to cover anything displeasing to the husband: too much salt in the food, bad manners, or even another woman who made her look bad by comparison!  The purpose of the question was "to test Him" hoping to alienate a large group of Jesus' followers by forcing Him to choose one school over another.

  2. The Ideal (4-6) - Rather than choose one view or the other, Jesus held up God's eternal standard.  This is not only an affirmation of heterosexual marriage, but also of creation "He who created them".  In Strike the Original Match, Chuck Swindoll writes of four musts in marriage:

    1. Severance "a man will leave his father and mother" - "Leaving" does not speak to alienation from parents but to a transfer of primary loyalty to a spouse.

    2. Unity "and be joined to his wife"- "Cleaving" means to "stick like glue."  Husband and wife are to be a symbol of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:25, Rev. 19:7) in love, togetherness and purpose.

    3. Intimacy "the two will become one flesh"- Physical intimacy is to be a reflection of the emotional and spiritual intimacy which should be a goal for every marriage.

    4. Permanence "what God has joined together, man must not separate" - The wedding ring is a powerful symbol of a permanent vow.  Wedding vows are not tentative promises or statements of good intentions; they are, in fact, irrevocable vows made before holy God.  God's ideal is one man and one woman freely and totally committed to one another for life. (Mal. 2:14)

  3. The Instruction (7) "Why then... did Moses command...?" - Heresy can come from misusing scripture as well as ignoring it.  Moses did not command divorce; rather the law permitted it.  In The Five Love Languages (p. 35), Gary Chapman cites these statistics:

    • 40% of first time marriages end in divorce;

    • 60% of second marriages end in divorce;

    • 75% of third marriages end in divorce.

      Divorce is seen in America today as an obvious solution to complex problems.  The prevalence of divorce may lead some to enter marriage on a "let's try it and see if it works" basis.  Satan's lie to married couples is that they need to find the right person to make them happy; God's plan is for us to be the right person to make our spouse happy.

  4. The Irregularity (8-9) - Regardless of the ideal, many committed church-going Christians find themselves divorced, either the product of a previous mistake or the innocent victim of a previous spouse.  Jesus' example in ministering to the woman at the well (John 4:5) and the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3) is certainly not one of exclusion.  (These are rather notorious examples of previously married people!)  The church must be inclusive in love and redemption.  Jesus' words in verse 9 raise the issue of remarriage.  Generally, four "exceptions" are noted to the prohibition of remarriage:

    1. When the marriage and divorce occurred prior to conversion (2 Cor. 5:17; Eph. 2:1-7, 19-22).

    2. When one's spouse is guilty of adultery and is unwilling to repent and be faithful to the marriage vows (Matthew 19:9).

    3. When an unbelieving spouse deserts the believing partner (1 Cor. 7:12-15).

    4. When the divorced spouse remarries (or dies) thus ending any hope of reconciliation.

  5. The Incredulity "...it's better not to marry" (10) The disciples were "slack-jawed amazed" at Jesus' high demands for commitment.  In His response, Jesus affirms singleness for those "it has been given to."  Just as there are those who abstain from sex because of physical reasons, there also is allowance for unmarried people who devote themselves to God's kingdom.

  6. The Invitation "Leave the children alone, and don't try to keep them from coming to Me, because the kingdom of heaven is made up of people like this" (14).  The children are prototypes of kingdom citizens: trusting, dependent, loving humble and eager to learn.  By extension, their parents are commended for bringing their children to Jesus.  Parents have an awesome responsibility of bringing up their children in the "way he should go" (Prov. 22:6). 

II. Standard Defined

"Just then someone came up and asked Him, "Teacher, what good must I do to have eternal life?" 17 "Why do you ask Me about what is good?" He said to him. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter into life, keep the commandments. 18 "Which ones?" he asked Him. Jesus answered: Do not murder; do not commit adultery; do not steal; do not bear false witness; 19 honor your father and your mother; and love your neighbor as yourself. 20 "I have kept all these," the young man told Him. "What do I still lack?"  (19:16-20)

  1. Request "Teacher, what good must I do to have eternal life?" (16) A great question implied a false premise, that eternal life could be gained by doing good. If good works could earn heaven, then each human would become his own eternal savior and Jesus' death on the cross would be irrelevant.

  2. Rebuttal "Why do you ask Me about what is good?" He said to him. "There is only One who is good." (17) Whereas the question seemed to be seeking the least effort to gain heaven, Jesus response showed that only One qualified under the 'good works' standard.

  3. Requirements (18-20) Jesus continued in terms the young man could understand: commandments. Scribes and Pharisees of that day recognized 613 commandments found in the Torah.) Jesus omitted the first five commandments which emphasize the preeminence of God.  He cited five of the last six commandments dealing with our relationships to each other.  It is perhaps significant that he saved "honor your father and your mother" to the end rather than its natural place at the beginning.  Covetousness is left out; Lev. 19:18 is added. "I have kept all these," the young man told Him. "What do I still lack?" (20)

III.       Impossible to Keep

      "If you want to be perfect," Jesus said to him, "go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me." 22 When the young man heard that command, he went away grieving, because he had many possessions." (21-22) HCSB: p. 1651: 19:18-22 "Jesus' command to sell your belongings...Then come, follow Me was designed to show the young man that (1) his covetousness defied the spirit of the tenth commandment, (2) his neglect of the poor defied the commandment to love his neighbor, and possibly (3) his love for his possessions surpassed his love for God, thus breaking the commandment against idolatry."

Salvation and lordship are tied together at the point of commitment; if Jesus can't be Lord of all, He'll not be Lord at all.  (Rom. 10:9) All these subtleties come to light when the rich, young ruler rejected God's kingdom because of selfishness (22).  He was so tied to his material possessions that he would forfeit his own soul for them.  (Matt. 16:24-26).

IV.       Provision to Accept

      "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "I assure you: It will be hard for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven! 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." 25 When the disciples heard this, they were utterly astonished and asked, "Then who can be saved?" 26 But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (19:23-26)

  1. Conclusion "It will be hard for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven!" This statement left the disciples "utterly astonished" for conventional wisdom held that wealth was a sign of God's favor and acceptance.

  2. Caricature "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." HCSB: p. 1651: 19:24-26 "The image of the largest animal in Palestine, a camel, passing through a small opening was an oft-used metaphor for impossible events.  The salvation of rich people (tempted as they are to trust themselves and their possessions) is possible only by divine miracle."

  3. Confidence "with God all things are possible." (26) While salvation by works is impossible, God miraculously provides salvation by grace (Ephesians 2:8-10) The concluding verses of chapter 19 answer Peter's question "So what will there be for us?" (27) HCSB: p. 1651: 19:28-29 "The Messianic Age is literally the "regeneration," the renewal of all creation.  This renewal will take place when the Son of Man sits on His glorious throne, reigning over the new heaven and new earth.  The reign of the 12 disciples over Israel demonstrates that Jesus' disciples constitute the new Israel, the chosen people of God who will benefit from His covenant with Abraham.  In a great divine reversal in which the first become the last and the last become the first, those who made personal sacrifices for Christ will enjoy enormous blessings and those like the rich young ruler, who loved wealth more than Christ, will be punished."

Application: (1)  A focus on material things may provide a barrier to understanding spiritual truth.  (2)  Salvation is only available through God's grace.  (3)  God calls us to be servants.